David Coggins Shares His Hard-Won Wisdom: A Guide to Living an Unforgettable Life

New York-based writer and cultural luminary David Coggins, a figure synonymous with insightful commentary on men’s style, global travel, the nuances of art, and the serene pursuit of fly-fishing, has distilled years of observation and personal experience into a set of guiding principles. Author of the acclaimed The Believer: A Year in the Fly Fishing Life and the New York Times bestseller Men and Style, Coggins also commands a significant readership through his widely circulated newsletter, The Contender. He posits that the gradual accumulation of wisdom, though sometimes slow to fully integrate, is one of life’s most rewarding aspects of aging. Here, he articulates the tenets that inform his approach to a life lived with intention and curiosity.

Embrace the Improbable Effort: The Fuel for an Extraordinary Existence

Coggins champions individuals who demonstrate a willingness to undertake "slightly unhinged" endeavors for the sake of their passions. This ethos extends to grand gestures like embarking on an overnight drive to attend a concert or a pivotal sports match, or the more contemplative, yet equally demanding, undertaking of hiking across the English countryside from one station to the next. The underlying philosophy is that a truly interesting life is not passively received but actively constructed through a series of deliberate, and often challenging, efforts. This perspective resonates with the growing body of research in positive psychology, which highlights the correlation between engaging in challenging activities and increased life satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. The "flow state," as described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is often achieved when individuals push their boundaries, finding deep engagement and fulfillment in tasks that require significant effort and skill. Coggins’ advice encourages readers to seek out these opportunities, recognizing that the most memorable experiences often lie just beyond the comfortable. This might involve dedicating significant time to mastering a new skill, planning an elaborate trip with unconventional logistics, or pursuing a creative project that demands unwavering commitment despite potential obstacles. The inherent value lies not just in the outcome, but in the transformative journey of overcoming the challenges.

Don’t Worry About Not Knowing: The Liberating Power of Beginner’s Mind

A significant hurdle for many is the fear of inadequacy, the apprehension of starting something new without prior expertise. Coggins directly addresses this, asserting that not having read a monumental Russian novel, or having missed a quintessential Parisian spring, or not having apprenticed in the opera, is perfectly acceptable. He questions the premise that such perceived deficits should dictate future engagement. The act of starting, he argues, is paramount. "You start Tolstoy on the first page, like everybody else," he states, drawing a powerful analogy to the universal starting point for any great work. He observes that many Americans discover profound connections to cultures and art forms later in life, citing his own recent foray into the world of ballet. This sentiment echoes the pedagogical principle of scaffolding, where complex subjects are broken down into manageable steps, allowing learners to build knowledge incrementally. Coggins’ encouragement to "give yourself a chance to be part of a great tradition" is a call to shed self-imposed limitations and embrace the joy of discovery. In an era often characterized by instant gratification and the pressure to be an expert in all domains, Coggins’ advice offers a refreshing counterpoint, advocating for patience, persistence, and the inherent dignity of the learning process. This approach is particularly relevant in today’s rapidly evolving professional landscape, where continuous learning and adaptability are crucial for career longevity. By embracing a beginner’s mindset, individuals can remain open to new opportunities and develop a richer, more diverse skill set throughout their lives.

Analog Conversation: The Enduring Value of Deep Human Connection

Coggins champions the art of "analog conversation," drawing inspiration from Sydney Greenstreet’s memorable line in The Maltese Falcon: "I’m a man who likes to talk to a man who likes to talk." He extols the profound pleasure of engaging in unhurried dialogue with individuals one cares about, allowing conversations to unfold organically over extended periods. He considers this a "great habit," emphasizing that friendship is forged not only through shared experiences but also through the dedicated time spent in genuine, face-to-face communication. This perspective stands in stark contrast to the often superficial interactions facilitated by digital platforms. Research consistently points to the detrimental effects of excessive screen time and social media on mental well-being, including increased feelings of loneliness and social isolation. Conversely, studies on interpersonal communication highlight the importance of non-verbal cues, active listening, and empathetic engagement – all hallmarks of deep, analog conversations. Coggins’ advocacy for this practice is a timely reminder of the foundational role of human connection in fostering strong relationships and a robust sense of community. In a world saturated with fleeting digital exchanges, the deliberate cultivation of meaningful conversations offers a pathway to deeper understanding, emotional intimacy, and a more profound sense of belonging. This resonates with sociological theories that emphasize the importance of primary groups and face-to-face interaction in shaping individual identity and social cohesion.

Obsess Over a City: Cultivating a Deep and Enduring Connection to Place

The act of developing a profound affection for a particular city, state, or country is presented as a significant life pleasure. Coggins emphasizes the enduring value of having a "favorite place" to which one can return throughout life, acknowledging that this attachment may naturally ebb and flow. He shares his personal experience of visiting Montana annually for a decade, noting that while his frequency of visits has decreased, the experience served as an invaluable education during that period. He encourages readers to revisit cherished locales such as Paris, London, or Tokyo, or indeed any place that exerts a gravitational pull. This practice aligns with the concept of "place attachment," a psychological and emotional bond that individuals form with specific environments. Research in environmental psychology suggests that strong place attachment can lead to increased well-being, a greater sense of identity, and a deeper appreciation for one’s surroundings. Coggins’ advice encourages a more immersive and sustained engagement with travel, moving beyond a checklist of tourist attractions to cultivate a genuine, evolving relationship with a location. This can lead to richer travel experiences, a more nuanced understanding of different cultures, and a lasting sense of connection to the world. The act of returning allows for a deeper appreciation of subtle changes over time and a more profound understanding of the place’s character.

A Minimum of Open-Mindedness: Expanding the Horizons of Experience

Coggins acknowledges a personal tendency towards being "set in his ways," recognizing the inherent danger of such predictability in constricting one’s life path. While familiarity can offer comfort and strength, he cautions that it can also lead to an "increasingly narrow path." To counteract this, he advocates for maintaining a "minimum of open-mindedness," actively seeking out new experiences. He cites recent endeavors such as attending college football games in unfamiliar cities, undertaking a ten-day fast in Spain, and developing an obsession with Canada. While these might not be universally groundbreaking, they represent new territories for him. He posits that "it’s good to expand the state of play," a notion that resonates with the principles of lifelong learning and personal growth. In an age of information overload and rapidly changing societal landscapes, adaptability and a willingness to embrace novelty are increasingly vital. This openness allows individuals to challenge their preconceived notions, discover hidden talents, and cultivate a more dynamic and resilient perspective. The psychological benefits of stepping outside one’s comfort zone are well-documented, often leading to increased self-confidence, improved problem-solving skills, and a greater capacity for empathy. Coggins’ emphasis on actively seeking new experiences, even seemingly small ones, underscores the profound impact of a curious and adaptable mindset on the richness and fulfillment of life.

Don’t Fear a Little Failure: The Crucible of Creative Growth

As individuals mature, Coggins observes a growing comfort with the prospect of failure. He argues that when creative endeavors, such as writing a book, are undertaken for deeply personal reasons, the external reception becomes secondary. The paramount concern should be the intrinsic quality and integrity of the work itself. He identifies the fear of criticism as a significant impediment to engaging in "worthy creative endeavors." To mitigate this, he offers a practical, albeit slightly tongue-in-cheek, suggestion: "pretend the internet doesn’t exist." This advice speaks to the pervasive anxiety surrounding public judgment in the digital age. The pursuit of artistic or intellectual expression often involves vulnerability, and the potential for negative feedback can be paralyzing. By de-emphasizing the importance of external validation and focusing on the intrinsic value of the creative process, Coggins encourages a more courageous and authentic approach to personal expression. This aligns with philosophical perspectives that view failure not as an endpoint, but as an integral part of the learning and growth process. In fields ranging from scientific research to entrepreneurship, setbacks are often viewed as valuable data points that inform future strategies and ultimately lead to more robust and innovative outcomes. Coggins’ counsel offers a vital antidote to the fear-driven paralysis that can stifle creativity and prevent individuals from realizing their full potential.

Get the Catalog: Curating a Personal History of Inspiration

A practical piece of advice passed down from his father, Coggins recommends acquiring the exhibition catalog whenever one encounters an art exhibition that resonates. Over time, these catalogs become a tangible chronicle of one’s visual experiences and intellectual journey. He notes that catalogs often go out of print, becoming increasingly difficult to find and more expensive, thus underscoring the foresight of acquiring them promptly. This habit encourages a more deliberate and thoughtful engagement with art and culture, transforming passive consumption into an active process of collection and reflection. In an era where information is often ephemeral and easily lost in the digital ether, the physical catalog serves as a lasting artifact, a reminder of specific moments of inspiration and discovery. This practice can be extended beyond art exhibitions to include programs from performances, brochures from significant historical sites, or even menus from memorable dining experiences. The curated collection becomes a deeply personal archive, a testament to the individual’s evolving tastes and intellectual curiosities. Such tangible mementos can serve as powerful prompts for reminiscence and can offer a unique perspective on one’s personal narrative and the cultural landscape that has shaped it.

Read the Letters: Unveiling the Inner Lives of Literary Giants

Coggins advocates for the illuminating practice of reading the letters of admired writers, even those whose work may not typically be a primary interest. He asserts that delving into the correspondence of figures such as Bruce Chatwin, Ernest Hemingway, E.B. White, and Hunter S. Thompson (whom he identifies as his personal favorite collection) offers profound insights into their personalities, relationships, and creative processes. Through their letters to friends, editors, and even adversaries, one gains an intimate understanding of their struggles, triumphs, and the intellectual currents that shaped their writing. This practice aligns with the burgeoning field of literary biography and the growing interest in the personal lives of public figures. Letters provide a unique window into the unfiltered thoughts and emotions of individuals, offering a more intimate and nuanced portrayal than formal biographies might allow. They reveal the human behind the legend, the doubts and uncertainties that accompany even the most celebrated achievements. By engaging with these personal documents, readers can gain a deeper appreciation for the craft of writing, the challenges of creative life, and the complex tapestry of human relationships.

Don’t Do Everything: The Art of Savoring Experiences

The modern imperative to experience "everything" can be a source of considerable anxiety, particularly when traveling. Coggins observes that the sheer multiplicity of ways to experience a city like Tokyo, for example, is part of its richness, but it can also lead to a feeling of missing out. He recounts a younger self burdened by the pressure to accomplish specific itineraries, leading to disappointment when time constraints prevented it. His current approach is one of relaxed acceptance: he engages with what he can and looks forward to future opportunities if they arise. This shift in perspective, from an urgent need to see and do everything to a more patient and appreciative engagement, significantly enhances the enjoyment of travel. It liberates individuals from the tyranny of the checklist, allowing for spontaneous exploration and a deeper connection with the present moment. This philosophy resonates with mindfulness practices, which emphasize being fully present and engaged in one’s current experience. By relinquishing the pressure to conquer every possible attraction, travelers can savor the journey, discover unexpected delights, and cultivate a more meaningful and less stressful relationship with the world.

The Impossibility of Overdressing: Confidence as the Ultimate Accessory

Coggins offers a succinct and empowering sartorial guideline: with a "baseline of confidence," one will never be overdressed. This principle transcends mere fashion advice, delving into the psychological impact of self-assurance. It suggests that true style is not about adhering to rigid dress codes or displaying ostentatious labels, but about projecting an inner certainty that renders outward adherence to convention secondary. When an individual feels comfortable and confident in their chosen attire, their presence commands attention and respect, regardless of the formality of the occasion. This aligns with the concept of "embodied cognition," which suggests that our physical state and how we present ourselves can influence our mental state and how others perceive us. A confident demeanor, projected through one’s posture and attire, can create a positive feedback loop, reinforcing self-esteem and enhancing social interactions. Coggins’ advice encourages readers to prioritize feeling good about themselves over conforming to external expectations, recognizing that genuine confidence is the most impactful and enduring style statement one can make.

Serve Yourself: The Foundation of Personal Style and Authenticity

Coggins concludes with what he considers his "strongest rule": clothes are designed to serve the individual, not the other way around. This principle emphasizes the primacy of the wearer’s figure, personality, and worldview over the dictates of brands or trends. He asserts that individuals are "bigger than a brand" and that "nobody worth impressing will ever care about a logo." The ultimate measure of successful dressing, according to Coggins, is whether one looks like "the best version of yourself." This philosophy champions authenticity and self-expression in personal style. It encourages a discerning approach to consumption, prioritizing garments that enhance one’s natural attributes and reflect one’s inner character. In a consumer culture often driven by brand loyalty and the pursuit of fleeting trends, Coggins’ advice offers a refreshing return to the fundamental purpose of clothing: to adorn and empower the individual. This perspective fosters a sense of agency and encourages a rejection of superficial markers of status in favor of genuine self-presentation. By serving oneself, individuals can cultivate a personal style that is not only aesthetically pleasing but also deeply resonant with their identity, leading to a more confident and authentic engagement with the world.